I’ve never played “World of Warcraft” (although I dabbled in D&D as a teen), but my buddy does, and he has explained some of the details of the game to me during the last several months. I’ve learned that “mooncloth” is something of value and can be purchased (or earned?) only every four days. I’ve learned that having a good steed/mount is desirable, and appears to be attainable only after earning Level Some Number. My friend’s primary character is a Level 60 Paladin, or “Pally” as one person referred to him. I know that he & his guild (which are either Horde or some other name) go on quests and raids. I know that there is a place called Azeroth, and another place called BRD.
So although I know virtually nothing about WoW, my interest is mildly piqued whenever I see a story on Digg or MeFi or some such site. The number of players - and their devotion & fascination with the game - is quite amazing, and as an online, modern-day D&D, the cultural aspect is of passing interest to me.
So I was quite amused to find something very humorous about the game on The Onion earlier today…if you’re a fan of WoW (or critic), you’ll probably enjoy “Baby, You Mean The World Of Warcraft To Me.” It’s a love letter sent by one player to the object of his affection, in which he explains precisely how much he loves her, and how perfect they are together. My favorite part:

Why do we need to go out to have fun? Everything we could possibly want is right in WoW. Fine dining, theater, romantic sunsets—they’re all there. The outside world just costs money, and I don’t have a magic breastplate to protect me from people’s stares. Come with me so I can treat you like the princess you are.

Wow. The really funny part is that my WoW friend thinks that we bloggers are nothing but loser-geeks. Heh.

One of the funnier movies that I’ve ever seen is “European Vacation,” and one of the tiny little gems in that movie is when Clark Griswold attempts to bounce on his bed in France, and is promptly bounced off: there is a little “boing” sound that you can hear when he hits the bed. That tiny little sound effect just gets me every time. So if adding that one small sound effect can make me laugh, imagine what adding a full-blown hilarious tune (the Benny Hill theme) to this very brief video clip did to me…and I’ll caution you now, if you are easily offended by blasphemy, DO NOT click to watch the video.

EDIT: if you watched the video, I’m curious — did you find it funny in any way? Or was it too offensive? Or…?

I’m sure some of you have read the “You Have Two Cows” funny that periodically circulates via e-mail, such as this standard-issue listing. The intent is to demonstrate the basic difference between competing political and philosophical ideas, or how certain countries implement such policies. Well, thanks to our friends at Wikipedia, we may have finally found the most comprehensive “You Have Two Cows” listing ever created. Among my favorites:

PACIFISM: You have two cows. They stampede you.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.
COMMUNISM — CUBAN: You no longer have any cows. They sailed to Miami. You still have no milk - but you do have Fidel.
FRISBEETARIANISM: You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.

Even more from Zodanet. Arranged alphabetically on different pages, including some great Objectivism definitions:

1. You have two cows. They are married. One of them has an affair with Ayn Rand while writing lots of philosophical work. The relationship goes south, Rand excommunicates said cows, declares that cows are irrational.
2. Cow is Cow.
3. I swear, by my cow and my love of it, that I will never milk for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to milk for the sake of mine.

And for you World Of Warcraft fans, how about this:

You have two cows. You try to camp them for a rare quest item, but the other faction keeps coming along and slaughtering them before you can finish your quest. You set your PvP flag and attack in an attempt to get even, but they bring their friends and kill you repeatedly. Eventually you level up to where it would be pointless to complete the quest and abandon it and the cows.

Gotta have an entry for instant-messenger fans, too:

1. OMGz u hav 2 cowz lolz!!1
2. DuudEz, i m liek teh fr34kin 1337 coz I totoly pwned yur 2 cows!!1!11!oen!uno!!

There are scores more, including Atheism, Wales, Nihilism, Visual Basic, Spiderman, C++, Groundhog Day, and so on. The bottom line here is that COWS ARE INHERENTLY FUNNY. Set aside some time this weekend and get caught up on all of the “You Have Two Cows” reading.

Although I have been an Atheist and Objectivist since my teens, I was in fact raised in what can best be termed a “secular Jewish” home, which is why some of Betsy’s “Tenets of Secular Judaism” elicited a few chuckles:

* Thou shalt go to college and enter a profession.
* Thou shalt not marry outside thy faith.
* Honor the Sabbath and keep it holy. Go shopping.
* Thou shalt not marry a rabbi. What kind of living is that? Better a doctor or a lawyer.
* Honor thy father and thy mother lest they lay a guilt trip upon thee … especially thy mother.
* Thou shalt not pay retail.

Some of you probably peruse Ask MetaFilter (AskMeFi) occasionally; the questions range from semi-profound to boringly technical. But there are sometimes little gems of humor even within a serious Q&A, such as this:

Question: How do I tell my girlfriend that I am not physically attracted to her since she put on some weight?

Answer: By telephone, unless you like being kicked in the nuts.

Two (ok, three) words: LIVE-ACTION COW! The episode wasn’t great overall, but the very concept of Live-Action Cow made this episode a classic. The Live-Action Squirrel was semi-cool, too, but nothing can compare to a Live-Action Cow.

Told to me by a co-worker the other day, and now given to you as a gift: Do you know what kind of car my proctologist drives? (more…)

Now that “Brokeback Mountain” has been deemed a critical success, plans are underway to develop a sequel involving lesbian cowgirls: “Archback Mountain.”

OK, that’s my attempt at topical humor…and I did get a sanity-check from Lachlan who assured me that it would not be construed as offensive.

But if you want to see something really humourous, you’ve got to check out the preview for “Brokeback To The Future” over at Wizbang Pop. I’ll never think of the phrase “flux capacitor” in the same way.

(here’s a re-run from a couple of years ago; it needs to be published again because it’s so funny) Remember “The Poky Little Puppy” and other such books? Well…there’s actually some titles that were rejected by the publisher…and courtesy of C&S (one picture, NSFW), via Peppermint Patty, here is the list of those rejects: (more…)

My favoritest “new” show lately is “Drawn Together” on Comedy Central. If you’ve seen it, you understand. If you haven’t seen it, well…brace yourself. It makes “South Park” look like an episode of Barney & Friends. The premise, such as it is: several stereotypical cartoon/comic characters are locked together in a large house, a la “Big Brother.” The situations are absurd, the “plot” exists only in theory, as the characters rarely get involved in reality-TV challenges, and there are no sacred cows: everything gets skewered. The characters represent different types of cartoons and styles, but each one has a repressed and/or bizarre trait that runs counter to their “real-life” inspiration: Captain Hero is modeled after Superman, Captain Marvel, and such; Xandir is loosely based on epic tales of quest and the standard rescuing-the-princess video games; Princess Clara is, well, a Princess; Wooldoor Sockbat is some sort of goofy Spongebob-like creature; Toots Braunstein is a way-past-her-prime incarnation of Betty Boop; Spanky Ham is based on an obnoxious internet video character; Foxxy Love is a take-off on Josie & The Pussycats mixed with some Scooby-Doo elements; and Ling-Ling is an homage to Pikachu and Japanime. I won’t go into detail yet about some of the surprises and jaw-dropping scenes, but I will tell you that episodes of “Drawn Together” can now be purchased on ITunes for $1.99 each (with volume discounts available!).

You know what I love? I love whimsical, laugh-out-loud stuff that can found all over the wonderful internets. To wit: The Top 10 My Little Ponies Of All Time! My favorite is #7:

I loved Rosey Posey. She was a handy pony ’cause her head came off really easy and it made for a handy place to hide lip balm. Whenever my lips got chapped, I’d just snap off ol’ Rosey’s head and keep my lips fresh and clean (they’d often get chapped from licking lollipop too much). I once asked Rosey Posey to marry me, but she didn’t answer. I took her silence as a “Yes”, however, and we had a quiet ceremony in my room with the whole Rainbow Brite and Strawberry Shortcake village in attendance. I was certainly as surprised as anyone when Purple Pieman put on his priest garb and married us officially. I love you Rosey Posey!

It doesnt’ get any funnier than this, people.

That’s right, folks…there’s a new star on children’s TV! The newest member of the Teletubbies family: it’s OLI, the Metrosexual Teletubby!