Better Living Through Blogging!: Mi Casa

November 28, 2003

Mi Casa

My wife and I have lived with very few hard & fast rules since we wed; we're very easy-going and adaptable. But...but. One rule that we have followed lo these many years is not allowing friends or family to stay at our house. I can hear the collective "gasp!" from many of you..."How can you be so rude? How insensitive and boorish could you possibly be? My goodness, you won't even let your own parents stay in your house?"

Damn straight. Trust me, it makes life much easier. My parents are not my wife's parents; my wife's parents are not my parents. My siblings are not her siblings; her siblings are not my siblings. Kapeesh? My wife shouldn't have to put up my father's megalomaniacal insanity, nor should I have to put up with my wife's crazy mother. Not under our roof, anyway.

What we will do, however, is provide whatever assistance a family member might need: hotel reservations, rental car, even $$$ for the room. But our house is OUR house, and mucking things up with parents, in-laws, or other wacky relatives truly is not conducive to an enjoyable visit.

Having said that: if any of my blog-buddies are ever travelling through our neck of the woods, our door is always- for visiting, for coffee, for dinner, etc. But you can't stay under our roof (emergencies are the exception, of course). We'd love to play gracious host/hostess, and enjoy breaking bread with you, and sightseeing with you, etc, and even pay for a nice hotel right around the corner. Seriously. You'll be happier that way, and so will we.

I hope that you don't think less of me.

Posted by davidmsc at November 28, 2003 11:55 AM | TrackBack

Comments

David, I think it's a GREAT rule. I can't stand house guests, no matter how much I love them as people or enjoy visiting with them...I hate the lack of privacy. Whenever I go to visit someone, I always try to stay in a motel or hotel...my friends need their space at the end of the day and so do I.

When my first husband and I got married, he insisted that his parents, his sister and her husband and her brother all stay with us, when they came out for the wedding. We were living in a 900 square foot townhouse with one bathroom. I suggested that everyone might be more comfortable in a nearby hotel and he was absolutely HORRIFIED! "Oh my God, that's NOT visiting! That's not togetherness! You're just going to have to deal with this, sorry." One of the many reasons we didn't stay married. Ugh.

Posted by: Jane at November 28, 2003 12:15 PM

Yep - I stayed here at my sister's house one year, but this year we opted for a motel. I can't deal with a lot of people, and I sleep in the nude. It's one thing to host family, it's another to let them cootie-up your place and then comment on how you're not doing something right.

It's a geat rule, Dave.

Posted by: Penda at November 28, 2003 01:16 PM

*Note to self: Cross off David's house on the trip across the USA. Selfish Bastard! ;-) (Heehee!)

Posted by: Allison at November 28, 2003 02:17 PM

We should have that rule. Actually, I'm going to mention it to Rob. When his parents came out for a six-week trip I conveniently had already made plans to visit my family in Florida. I stay at a cheap beach motel.

"Wouldn't want to put any of you out" and "come visit us at the beach" works well. I'm sure they appreciate it too. We all have our quirky little habits that don't work well after visiting hours are over.

Have a great weekend.

Posted by: meg at November 28, 2003 03:55 PM

There is room at the Inn, just down the street. And this weeds out those who just using you for a crash pad versus really coming to see you. I'm impressed and I'm using you as a reference for the wisdom behind this argument.
I now have to go add onto the small altar I have built to honor you "O Wise One." I'm off to Home Depot. LOL

Posted by: SzaffireBlue at November 29, 2003 02:07 AM

Really kewl. As Szaffire noted, it sorts out the users from the friends. Its been MY experience that friends only accept floor-space to sleep on when YOU realize the emergency-severe-difficulty nature of their situation, and OFFER said floor-space... Friends meet, have dinner, play pinochle (or WADDEVER) then, as Winkum, Blinkum and Nodd start their rounds, discreetly absent themselves from YOUR home.

And STAY friends, for a L.O.N.G. time... :)

Posted by: SharpShooter at December 1, 2003 01:46 AM