Comments On: REAL Reality TV
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"My fellow Americans...instead of a traditional speech, I'd like to present to you something slightly different...first, I'd like you all to read an essay over at this nifty little website called 'Eject, Eject, Eject." This essay pretty much covers everything that I wanted to say tonight, but this Bill fellow is pretty good with words. Now, having got that out of the way, I'd like to move on to something that...well, let me just describe it to you. You know all of them there 'human shields' that have gone to Iraq to oppose this war? Well, how's this for an idea...let's play a little game called 'Survivor: Iraq.' Ya see, them folks over at CBS have this neat little game show that they call 'Reality TV', and this Survivor idea is where the contestants have to prove that they can outlast the other players. So, first we'd see how these human shields can survive on the streets of Baghdad without any passport, identification, or money. Should be interesting to see how well they do with the Iraqi secret police, or the fundamentalist clerics, or the Republican Guard. Next, once the bombing starts - and make no mistake, it will start, and it will be quite a sight - we'll see how well these folks can dodge smart-bombs, and evade incoming Tomahawk missiles, and dodge ground fire from the United States Marine Corps. On top of that, they'll have to do their best to protect themselves from the poison gas that Saddam's troops are likely to use. Tricky stuff, those chemical agents. Then, when the bombing stops, we'll see how well these human shields can compete with native Iraqis for food, shelter, and clothing. That's my idea - it's probably going to be a ratings blockbuster, driving up ad revenue, putting a little pep in the economy, don't you think?"